| "The Telemarketing Song" | |
| Verse 1: Jealous husbands and envious wives, why don't you people try to get lives? I'm a telemarketer miles away. You're spouse is fat and ugly and twice my age. Wait! Wait! Don't hang up. I've got a special offer. Let me tell you what's up. Have a free cell phone. This isn't a line. You can keep track of your husband now all the time. Chorus 1: I hate people. They're ignorant and dumb. I hate people. They're the earth's own scum. Rude and crude, they don't give a fuck. I hate people 'cuz people suck. Verse 2: I'm sadistic, masochistic, you're worst nightmare. I'll get under your skin and make you swear. You don't want credit cards, magazine, or siding. Don't be mean. I know where you're hiding. I have your name, your number, and your address too. Don't you know what you do comes back to haunt you. Chorus 2: I hate people. They're ignorant and dumb. I hate people. They're the earth's own scum. Rude and crude, they don't even care. They hate telemarketers, and it's not fair. Verse 3: Death and taxes never relaxes; that's why I got this job. Would you rather I stayed home and became a welfare slob? I don't come to your work and yell and make you cry. It doesn't hurt to be kind to people. Come on! Give it a try! So next time a solicitor calls you on your line. Take three deep breaths and calm down. Everything is fine. You don't want what they're selling? Tell them politely "no," and if they start to rebuttal, baby, hang up the telephone. Chorus 1 | |